Escorts are bombarded with idiots who think we are all morons...
We have heard every excuse, every proposition, seen more dick pics then we ever need to, and the list goes on so here I will post my funniest excuses etc.
Good guys that actually read and respect a providers time and policies are always amazed how dumb other guys are so this is for entertainment purposes only!!!
Guys don't be this guy!
I used to post a Dear Newbie on my Twitter that were gentle reminders of how not to get yourself blocked, but Twitter started becoming a negative place with too many women complaining about all the assholes - so I have just been letting most things go but since this is my blog, I am going to vent here when needed! Respectful guys will wonder what hole did some of these idiots come from.
1-Don't ever send anybody an unsolicted dick pictures. You have immediately blown your chances of getting a date with that woman. You will be blocked by most ladies including me. I promise nothing you have between your legs will impress me... What that means is you could have a nice cock - but if you act like a dick sending dick pics - clearly you would never have a clue how to truly satisfy a woman. Simply, sending a dick pic makes you just a dick!
2-Don't tell me you can't buy a gift card for my screening - ummmm dumbass you can buy them online! but it did not stop there! He proceeded to text me what hotel he was at- as if that would make a difference. Because a seriel killer can't get a room at a luxury hotel?? LOL
3-Don't tell me you understand my screening donation policy that is listed on my site but then ask me what my rates are... If you can't follow what is clearly posted, then guess what! you are too dumb for me to see. I do not see dumb men.
4-If you missed the part on my ads and website that says do not call and I send you a one time reminder of such, and you respond to my autoresponder with anything other than following the stated policy on it--boom you are blocked- no excuses. If you cannot show respect before we meet - no chance in Hell am I going to risk being alone in a room with you.
5-Don't start telling me your whole fantasy before being screened because honestly, I do not care about your fantasy if I cannot screen you. I will not even read anything that is more than a line before I just hit delete so do not bother.
6-Any one liner texts make you look like a jerk. NO high end escort will ever engage you if you can't put enough thought into a proper introduction.
is this Brenda
hey whats up
All examples of one liners escorts receive all day- everyday - put some thought into your introduction if you want to be taken seriously.
7-asking questions clearly answered on the website. If you are too lazy to take a few minutes to review the site, you will be labeled as a rude timewaster. How funny that some guys will be willing to pay an escort $600 for an hour but will not take the 5-10 minutes needed to be sure they are choosing wisely! Guys if you cannot figure out that a pretty face or hot body is not enough for good sex - than you have never had truly great sex. If I have to explain what this means, I promise you will not understand the answer.
For the good guys reading this embarrased that other men actually behave like this- just laugh... that's what I do.
NO clue why guys send in a whole novel about themselves and then ask if I am interested... with NO respect paid to my screening process. I think it's nice to get to know a person but AFTER I know screening is done. Where you went to college, the name of your dog, etc... really does not mean anything or having any bearing on me seeing you - we are not dating so really guys be forthcoming with a provider about screening first and then if she wants to know anything she will ask.
Do not send a provider more than one or two emails/messages etc. WAIT for her response. If she does not respond after the second one... get the hint or CHECK her site to see if she is off!!! OR maybe she is just busy. A guy ruined his chances today by sending in 12 messages in less than two days. I am a really busy lady and answer messages as I received them. Sending in more than one or two seems desperate or creepy... not a vibe you want to give off. I do not have an assistant so yes, sometimes my responses are slow but they will come to those who clearly have done their homework and shown to be on the right path from the start.
Also if you send in requests for a date that my calendar says is not available, it only shows me you did not look at my calendar... which will then make me think what else did you neglect to read?
I will be writing about the mess Fosta will cause and explain if I will continue taking new clients in the next day or so.
Yesterday in light of the nonsense happening with Sesta Fosta, The Erotic Review closed its site to subscribers in the USA and Backpage was seized by our government. If you do not know what Sesta Fosta is, I will break it down on April 11th, if Trump does sign it. 110% he will sign it because most rich people cannot possibly comprehend that their dogood efforts are going to hurt MILLIONS of sexworkers in the USA. A sex worker is not just a whore, a sexworker even includes camodels who never come in contact with anybody. Isn't that odd just because she is letting others see her but cannot touch her she is just as much as a sexworker in the eyes of parts of this law! The most ironic part for me is a Porn star could have a hundred guy gangbang for the whole world to see gets paid legally, but an Escort who is privately entertaining a man is just able to be arrested. CRAZY... I have never ever understood, even as a child why other people get to tell others what to do with their bodies.
I have been making some changes since Fosta passed in Congress about two weeks ago. This weekend I will be making a lot of changes and posting them here as I complete them and other things that come up to take note of.
1-I have given my last special lifetime offer to donate $2000 and then only donate half for the rest of the times we play. I do have ONE sponser spot a year to pay my expenses to go to Fetcon in August that receives the same benefits so get it before that is gone too!!!
2-I have removed my 3rd body page due to Fosta. Although my friends that play are all consenting adults, I feel its best now to keep those matters extra private going forward. Once we have enjoyed one session, please ask me about a session with my cross dressing friend, my guy that I can do threesomes with that is straight, my guy friend that is bisexual that can do threesomes or ONLY if you are older - probably minimum 55 -lol, he likes older guys!!, my tranny friend, or a girlfriend to have a regular threesome with! I do NOT see couples any longer except the ones I have already enjoyed time with.
3-Please follow my new Twitter.com/BBvanillaDom in case my Twitter.com/BrendaBoobies gets shut down due to my graphic posts, you will know where to find me.
4-There is a new site called Switter.com it is intended for sexworkers and those not offended by them, to replace Twitter. My handle is BrendaBoobies on there also. I hope to be active soon but so many changes are happening because of Fosta - I need to catch up from this nightmare first! UPDATE TO MY UPDATE AS OF 4/22/18, I AM NOT ENDORSING SWITTER UNTIL THEY MAKE CLEAR THEIR INTENTIONS OF WHAT DIRECTION THEIR SITE IS GOING... I WILL POST HERE ONCE I KNOW EITHER WAY.
5-Please be sure to email me at BrendaBoobies@SafeOffice.com to be kept on a mailing list besides the one you can join here. The reason for that is because although my hosting company is outside the USA, there are concerns that Google will censor via bots certain websites such as mine. If that happened, my website and newsletter would be useless.
6- I highly recommend switching away from free emails such as gmail. Your info can be searched now without warrents because part of Fosta.
So much for the 4th Amendment!! Please spend the money to be sure to protect yourself and others by using something like Protonmail. BUT PLEASE guys keep your original email incase a lady wants to use it for screening. Once screening is done, you can continue with the secured mail. So again, stop using gmail but keep it incase you need it to quickly verify yourself.
7-I will be changing my number. My current number is a Google app. I am no longer comfortable using it. If we have met before, I will give you my real personal cell for extra privacy. New friends will receive my new track phone starting April 11th.
8-TheEroticReview.com is where all my reviews are. Currently unless you change your ip location via a VPN, you will not be able to get to the site. Google IPVanish.com for a VPN. Please read carefully before proceeding. UPDATE APRIL 10th, THE EROTIC REVIEW HAS DELISTED ALL US PROVIDERS, MEANING THEY REMOVED THEIR REVIEWS. I WILL BE ADDING SCREEN SHOTS TO SHOW I WAS AT THE TOP OF THE BOARD FOR ORLANDO WHEN FOSTA WAS PASSED. BE VERY CAREFUL BELIEVING ANY NEW GIRLS THAT SHE WAS WELL REVIEWD...
9-Over 100 ad sites have been shut down with more going down daily. It is going to be harder for men to find quality ladies so I highly encourage you to reach out to ladies now to become acquainted. Other ladies that you have seen but not talked to in a while, you might want to reach out so she will remember you. A really nice thing many sweethearts have done since Fosta was send me gift cards as a reminder of who they are. Many decent ladies are really having issues figuring out what to do right now. Thankfully I have never quit my regular job, so although my life is affected, I am not scared like thousands of ladies are right now. I have lost almost a week of playtime having to take time to deal with changes because of Fosta ontop of many expenses from it. Basically imagine your job, your way to support yourself and your loved ones was taken away- you got fired or laid off etc, but instead of being able to say well this really sucks but I will post an ad on Monster or other career based sites, there was NO place to look for a job... it is a very uncertain world for many ladies right now. Regardless if all sexwork is not a legal profession, the ladies doing it assumed the risk of getting caught was worth it perhaps to have flexibilty to take care of their kids or go to school etc, it was their way of life and in just a few days 95% of the safe opportunities are now GONE. I cannot even begin to imagine how scared many single moms etc are right now. Fosta is the absolute worst thing to ever happen to consenting adults wishing to have some no strings attached fun.
10-I deleted years of stuff I had saved to help me screen faster. If we have met before and I clearly remember you, you will not have to be screened all over, but if I just do not, you will have to start the $50 screening deposit method. There will be no exceptions.
11-I (had a deal that guys from Preffered411 and TheEroticReview who had clearly been good guys were able to pass on the $50 screening deposit, but effective 4/7/18, I will no longer be offering that. I have always been extremely selective but as of today, it will be extra important for me to know exactly who I am playing with. Thankfully P411 is not letting new Escorts in the USA sign up so the site should not get littered with ladies who did not care about safety before Fosta. In the future, maybe I will offer it again, but for now, everybody must be screened equally. My only goal when screening is to screen out guys who waste ladies time or like to hurt them. I do not want to hurt your life, only protect mine. If you cannot respect that, see a lady with lower standards.
12-Unrelated to Fosta, but good news - I will be able to offer two mornings a week for an of you early risers starting April 16th at my place in Orlando only and probably 1 day a week until Memorial Day I will be in Tampa doing some personal things but could see one person in the mid afternoon at my Orlando donation instead of Tampa donation as I will already be in Tampa, instead of having to drive there just for a date.
13-Many escorts have joined a SDSB sites. If you are to spot me or any lady do not message through any of the sites that she is also an escort. The messaging systems on those sites can be monitored so careful what you say. I have listed on my donations page my entry level SB agreement. Guys, meeting any potential SB and not bringing some sort of gift to the first date makes you look like a SaltDaddy instead of a SugarDaddy. Don't make an ass out of yourself! Unless the lady misrepresents herself with age, weight, etc be a gentleman. AND FOR FUCKS SAKES guys, if she looks really young, question her about her age and ask only questions she would know if she was that age. SB sites are probably going to be the new escort hang outs! I have a Sugar Daddy plan now. I see this as the future for most high end clients. With so many ad sites gone, hold on to a good lady when you find her and if you can make sure she will always make time for you! Not all plans will be the same!
14-I have removed the $100 discount from P411 for dates longer than 4 hours. I have fantastic donations already and just do not see a need for that any longer.
15-I will finally be activating my members only section once I see the fallout from Fosta being signed is.
16-I am no longer seeing single women or couples that I have not already met with.
17-My $500 - two hour prepay is now only available for incall to my Orlando playground.
Thanks for reading,